Where you are right now is God's place for you....

I have been working on reacquainting myself and our children with the 10 commandments

1. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself an idol.
3. You shall not misuse the name of the lord your God.
4. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not murder.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
8. You shall not give false testimony.
10. You shall not covet.

I remember having to memorize these before my first communion in 8th grade. I dreaded it. The 10 commandments and the Lord’s prayer. The 10 commandments, I usually just took them for granted and as for the Lord’s prayer, that I clung to…even though my heart did not belong to the Lord. I think it was my only form of prayer for years, especially through my teen years. Now as I am growing physically and spiritually, I have a desire to understand what I have been taught to believe and what I pray. Not only understand, but have these truths, these pleas to be embedded in my heart for what they are…not just because I was taught to memorize them.

Starting a relationship with Jesus was far too long to wait, but it was all in His good timing. I want something very different for my children. Yes, I want them to have a head knowledge for the word of God and to follow the example of Christ….but that is meaningless unless their hearts are His. We are doing our best to not get caught up in the power of knowledge, but focus more on the power of Christ…a true loving relationship with Him. Anyone can read and learn the Bible, but to truly understand, to truly be saved, our hearts have to be His.

I was listening to a sermon about how to communicate the gospel to a child. It was very good, at the same time, many of us need to know how to communicate the gospel to adults….including ourselves. So often the gospel is “dumbed down” or conformed to the likeness of the age, supposedly to reach a new generation. When reading this scripture, it reaffirmed something stirring in my soul for quite some time now.

“This is what each of you keeps on saying to his friend or relative: ‘What is the Lord’s answer?” or ‘What has the Lord spoken?’ But you must not mention ‘the oracle of the Lord again’ because every man’s word becomes his oracle* and so you distort the words of the loving God, the Lord Almighty, our God.” Jeremiah 23:35-36 (niv)

Yes, sharing our heart, what Jesus has done for us is important. But lets not forget who God is and why He gave us His words. His words are just that....the words of God. God is greatness beyond our comprehension. So often when sharing, listening to others, we will form an image in our minds of what the other person might be experiencing and compare it with what we have experienced or some knowledge we have gained. We need to be very careful not to create God in our image or speak on behalf of Him in telling someone God’s will for their particular situation. Yes, we are to encourage, listen and share….but we must remember who God is.

“Am I only a God nearby,”
declares the Lord,
“and not a God far away?
Can anyone hide in secret places
so that I cannot see him?”
declares the Lord.
“Do not I fill heaven and earth?”
declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 23:23-24 (niv)

This is such an in depth thought, the heart behind the matter could fill the pages of many books….and it has, the Bible. This again, reaffirms the importance of each of us being accountable for the truths we embrace. There are many false teachings out there.

“I have heard what the prophets** say who prophesy lies in my name. They say, ‘I had a dream! I had a dream!’ How long will this continue in the hearts of these lying prophets, who prophesy the delusions*** of their own minds? They think the dreams they tell one another will make my people forget my name, just as their father forgot my name through Baal worship. Let the prophet who has a dream tell his dream, let the one who has my word speak it faithfully…..” Jeremiah 23:25-28 (niv)

We are responsible to take them to the Author of all creation to ensure we are walking in the ways of life that we have been called to, to be content in those steps, no matter what they may be.

We all struggle and Christ is there not only to show us the way, but to hold our hand…even scoop us up in His arms…when the darkness seems to be so overwhelming.

“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.” 1 Corinthians 7:17 (the message)

Our time here on earth is a learning process. We must question what we don’t understand, eternity is to precious of a gift to be thrown away on what is temporary. Christ’s blood came at too precious of a price to be ignored or taken lightly.


*Oracle: a prophecy (usually obscure or allegorical) revealed by a priest or priestess; believed to be infallible
Infallible: incapable of failure or error
**Prophet: someone who speaks by divine inspiration; someone who is an interpreter of the will of God
***Delusion: a mistaken or unfounded opinion or idea

Pancakes..no egg, no sugar, no oil!

I have to share this. I may be a little slow in this area, but it’s new to me and wonderful…so I am sharing. Just bear with me if you already know and if you have more healthful hints, please do share with me.

My family just LOVES pancakes. Problem is that they are so bad for you. The eggs, sugar, oil and refined white flour….so I went searching and found a nice “no-fat” recipe online. It’s simple.

1 cup whole wheat flour
¼ tsp baking SODA
1/4 tsp salt
(¼ tsp cinnamon if you like)

Mix dry ingredients

Add splash of vanilla
Add as much skim milk to make proper pancake consistency. (I like mine the consistency of lumpy ranch dressing).

Prepare as usual. For those of you who don’t like maple syrup, try honey….this is Matthews favorite.

Okay…..so I started making this on a regular basis. Yummy pancakes with no oil, egg or sugar….plus its whole wheat….after awhile I stopped using the recipe. I ended up using a different wheat flour and accidentally starting using baking powder instead of baking soda. It made for a sticky pancake. Before I realized the powder/soda mix up I blamed it on the flour….so the next time I bought flour I tried something new.

There were so many choices. After reading the ingredients, we decided to try Bob’s Red Mill 10 Grain Pancake & Waffle Whole Grain Mix. It has everything above, plus more goodness. The directions say to add oil and egg…and in some versions sugar, fruit and/or meat…..but I decided to make an attempt with the plain of flour and milk option.

They turned out awesome! Fluffy and tasty! I used about two cups of the mix with enough skim milk to make the consistency I preferred as listed above. They are super yum, super easy and so awesome….no eggs, sugar or oil!

I am so excited about this find, I decided to post it to my blog….and yes, I do get this excited about food!

Where Our Heart Is

A few weeks back I was saddened and excited about the possibility of change. Anxious about where we were going and thankful that the transition was going so smooth. I had high hopes that our next location was firm and final. As the weeks lingered on I found myself griping about all the inconveniences, the lifestyle changes, the “things” that were not the same. How many times do we have to be brought through change before I remain steady in the truth that we are blessed beyond measure, no matter what provision is given.

In listening, sharing with others, it became clear to me that we are conditioned to complain, even when things are good. I was just reading in the book of Matthew and read that where our heart is, our treasure will be. When my heart is fixed on Jesus, life is beautiful beyond measure. When I start focusing on what the world has to offer, my vision gets blurred and my heart grows heavy. That goes on to the rest of the scripture from Matthew It says “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

How easy it is to get our eyes dirty. We don’t even have to look for ways. I believe we are all guilty of this in some form or another. Looking back to where my family was even a few months ago, I began to gripe about having to stay in a hotel for a few weeks. I began to gripe and become discontent in many areas. Happy about many things, but growing discontent in many ways. If we were sitting back in India, seeing the children living on the streets, begging for food. If we were back in Omaha, hearing the news of homeless people struggling to survive in the cold. If I was thinking about Africa, the children caught up in a war far to violent to comprehend. Do you think my vision would have been any clearer? If I see how good life is, just to have a roof over our heads, a steady means for income and food in our bellies this could stir my heart toward compassion and thankfulness for all we have.

That compassion and thankfulness has driven many to work towards change, but none of it can be lasting without an anchor. Going back again, to before Jesus ruled my heart…I would be effected by the things I saw and experiences. Wanting to be helpful and acting on that desire on occasion. But the center of self would always settle in. Fear of giving too much and I myself would have far too little. Always driven for the comfort and to be very honest, the glory of myself. Do good in return for reward, change to better myself for myself and my surroundings. Help others to help themselves and make our world a better place. Peace at any cost. Where is truth in that? It still all boils down to self. When we focus on self, no matter how we package it, it still produces darkness. A glimmer of light may shine for a moment but it is put out when self settles in. This so contradicts what we were created to do. We were created to reflect the image of life, truth and freedom…..not to be tossed around like a ship on the waves living at peace only when the seas are calm.

It is very important to keep our eyes on the goal. Not forcing the goal, but walking slowly and surely on the path created for us. Not all of us were created to be the eyes, we all have a job to do. We all have a purpose….a specific skill set given to us by our creator. Some will be the eyes, some will be the hands, some will be the feet. Listen to our Teacher and trust in Him to hold our hand as we walk through the woods…like sheep among wolves being protected by our wise and strong Shepherd.

Instead of looking at our circumstances, our provision and what others are doing…we are to trust in the Provider to clear the way and use us to bring light into the darkness…in our lives and the lives around us. Giving glory where glory is due. We can and should be content in all circumstances, using each moment to learn, grow, even teach. Not letting the trappings of this world diminish our eye sight, resting assured in the life we have been given.

We cannot do this on our own, no matter how educated we are, no matter how hard we try. Each of us has the responsibility to ask for truth, test what is taught and act responsibly in what we believe. We are to go to the One who has the answers, to be open to correction and willing to admit when we are wrong. We are to be walking in humility in the strength, wisdom and life He has given us. As I said before and many others said before me, we cannot do this alone. We must be anchored in truth. The truth that comes from His word, the Bible. The truth that comes from being still and knowing He is God. When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us…then we can truly live, producing fruit and being content in all circumstances….giving glory where glory is due. When we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus we not only endure we succeed beyond measure.

New Things

This morning I was up earlier than usual. As I was doing my morning routine it started to rain. I love the rain. I went into the laundry room and noticed the rain coming in and hitting the power point for the washing machine. I typically have a few rugs hanging to try and shield the rain from the electrical. I took them down a few days ago, so the space was open again.


As I was hanging a large towel in their place I started thinking about my home. With all of it’s problems, it’s still home and it’s still very comfortable. I walked in to check on Matthew, still asleep. The room was darkened, the fan was moving cool air through out the room and classical music gently playing with the sound of the heavy rains outside in the background. So much peace in that room, so much peace in my home. I wanted to sit down and just wallow in that feeling.


As soon as my heart was jumping in the joy of that, the thoughts came. You will be leaving soon. You Don’t know where your next home will be. It may not be as comfortable and your peace will be gone. My heart became heavy and my mind went back to Matthew’s words. “Mom, is this country, this place, is it going to be our home forever. I love this part of the world.” Yes, my five year old said that, in those words. I think that is why it hit my heart so hard. So as these thoughts were assaulting me I started to clean and organize. I do that often, clean, organize…I think it’s because it’s something I can control. But those thoughts keep coming. Along with those thoughts comes a more powerful voice. The voice of God.


Sometimes it takes me awhile to hear Him, even when He is shouting. At times it can be so much easier to try to fight the pain with a cleaning, organizing, talking to a friend, reading a book. At least it seems easier, but not as powerful or lasting. My heart tells me that there are just some things we aren’t meant to do alone, some things our friends just can’t fix. A time when we are to draw so near, to climb up in our Father’s lap and get that hug our heart needs to go on. Not only go on in action, but in power and strength. To push forward to be changed, to be used, to bring glory to His kingdom not only in our heart, but in those hearts around us.


More and more as the days go on the meaning of keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus is having a more personal understanding. When believers say God’s Word is the Living Word, they are speaking so much truth. The truth behind this is so strong, I can taste it, feel it in ways I didn’t know it was possible to feel. This is yet another affirmation of who He is and proof to me that He is real and alive in this world, in me. My mind never could imagine such a feeling as this. To have such heavy burdens and feel so alive, to have such guidance, such comfort and encouragement. It is so sweet to my soul. Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough, giving my life to Him doesn’t seem to be enough. This, to me, showing how great His grace is.


So when my vision gets blurred, He gently takes my hand and leads me back to the way that is straight. He breathes life into these dry bones. The old saying, home is where the heart is, is so very true. My heart is His and my home is with Him, no matter where that may be.

Thank You my Jesus. You are beyond comparison.

“You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, “Here is your God!” See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and His arm rules for Him. See, His reward is with Him, and His recompense accompanies Him. He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:9-11

“Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God. The Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak, Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:27-31

A Greater Worth Than Gold

Okay, today I am starting fresh, again, for the third time. I don't have a clue to what is happening, one computer is froze to life and now this one has a phantom word snatcher. I get a document written and after I am almost finished...zap, it's gone, like it never existed in the first place. Maybe this mini bump is fitting since I was writing about trials and what God does with them. Okay, so here I go again and may God remind me to really use this brain He gave me and remember to save this file every so often.

I am a talker, always have been. Being a listener is something I have been working on as long as I can remember. Interesting what you can learn if you just listen. Not only to people, but to God. My mind is always racing around like there is no tomorrow. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 When I first heard that God wanted me to be still so I could know Him, that I thought impossible. Now I know better. "Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 I can even remembering being so arrogant in my thinking, asking God to give it all to me now because I was ready, just CHANGE ME I said. I expected immediate. He said yes to that prayer, still is, in His way, not mine and believe you me, His way is much better.

Slowly, the reality of His way being the best, is seeping into my being and becoming solid ground for me. About a year after I gave my life to Christ, I was full of confidence in who I was in Him. There was a man I knew who called me a baby Christian. I was extremely offended by this, looking back, he was right. Walking with Jesus these past years has been and still is a growing experience. Often I ask Him why I do the things I do when I know my heart is His. God has since reminded me that this is a growing process, but I still struggle with how easy it is for me to sin. "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Romans 7:14-25 At the same time I question the truth in others claims to be His child when I see no difference in them and the world. Yes, I am judging myself and them. Not saying I am right in doing so, but I am trying to be honest in my sharing. It is not right to judge, but I share to share my struggles in this area. Through my arrogance and through other believers God was and is teaching me the importance of spending time with Him. "We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." Hebrews 5:11-14 In this, it give evidence that someone can be a believer and still not know so little about who Christ is. On the same note, I wonder about the strength of their salvation..literally treading on thin ice when this thought comes. I guess that one is for man to read the evidence, decide, then walk in the consequences of his choice. "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" Matthew 7:22-23 "One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!" But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong." Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom" Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Luke 23:39-43 "It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace." Hebrews 6:4-6

Learning to be a listener, God is teaching me more about His compassion and provision. When God calls us out of our comfort zone, I usually hit a low, which most of the time turns into a spiritual high. Sometimes faster than others, all depends on how which path I choose to follow. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:2 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 Even when I make the wrong choice, which is often, He is quick to whisper life into me to draw me back. "This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words." 1 Corinthians 2:13 It's not about me and God gives what we need when we need it.

Consumed with emotion, about so many things, I tend to withdraw from people. It never seems to fail, right when I don't want to talk, people start to. Maybe the "hiding" times are God's way of getting me to be still. During those times, I tend to cling to Him more and hear Him more clear. All the while, He decides to place a talker in my world, just at that moment. This too, He uses. When I want to shut up, someone starts bearing their soul. This, I am thankful for. Because more often than not, as they speak, His words come to life in the conversation. He shows me that He has been through this, that we all face trials and there is hope in all situations for those who trust in Him. As we walk with Him, strength comes with each valley. "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you." Philippians 3:13-15 "It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." Ephesians 4:11-16

Ruditha was just sharing that she has four children. A daughter Emma's age, twin sons age seven and one daughter that she lost at age three. The way she shared it just threw me off my feet. It has been nearly three years since she has lost her daughter, but her eyes showed pain as if it was yesterday. She made the choice to leave her children, her family behind in the Philippines so she could come to Malaysia to work. This is a common practice that I struggle to understand. In Ruditha's case, she faced the pain of loosing a child to illness and then again she lost the rest of her children by choosing to provide financially over being their in person to love and nurture them. Again, I do not understand, but I do know that when they make these choices, there is pain there too.

As Agib was driving the other day he shared his concern for his aunt and her eight children that just lost their husband/father. Agib was scared because his uncle was in great physical shape, but still died of a heart attack. He is always full of stories of pain, struggles and questioning. As they often do, the conversation opened doors of discussion about the difference in our beliefs and the importance of being ready for death. We don't know when that hour will come. "Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape." 1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you. Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy." Revelation 3:2-4

There are many more stories like these, different situations, but the same underlying message. We all face trials, we all have choices to make, some big, some small. The commonality in those choices is that we have consequences. What we do in those trials, makes way for the next. Every step we take does make a difference. Some good, some bad, but everything has importance. Our most important decision is where we choose to stand while we have a choice. We will all have to stand before God someday, whether we choose to believe He is who He says He is or not. "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18 "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." 2 Corinthians 1:20-22

So, for those of us who believe, we keep going, keep sharing, keep loving and walking in His grace and compassion. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:6-9

Though He Stumble

We are back in Malaysia now and I am loving it. It is wonderful to have to windows open, with the strong winds blowing through out apartment...the comfort of my own bed, my own sofa, my home. As I sit here, I am moved to praise God for being so abundantly generous and kind to me, far beyond what I deserve.

When we move from place to place, even if it is a short while, I tend to get down until I can create my comfort zone. This wasn't very clear to me until a few days ago. For quite some time I have been watching, listening to people and how the interact with others. Often I judge people in my mind...looking past my own short comings. When it comes to treating others better than myself, I really thought I was doing good. Yes, I realize this blog is sounding pretty vain...it's meant to...to make a point. God has done AMAZING things in this heart, but there is much work to be done still. He has made it easy for me to love, share and care for what society may call the lowest of the low...something I cherish. On the other hand, I find myself snubbing others who focus on things, actually justifying my behavior. Without really noticing it, I have started to become accustomed to things that are not necessary....putting them in the place of necessity when they are actually desires.

" If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:7

I am leading up to my thoughts on humility and authority. How do we have both? Where is the balance? If my driver doesn't come when I call, I get irritated...when I catch the maid in the corner talking on her phone instead of cleaning, I think she is waisting my money.....when a someone is served before me, when I was there first, I fume....when I am called an ugly American, I am appalled......where is the humility in that? At the same time, how many times do you tolerate a lack of respect? Doesn't the Bible speak of respect, unconditional love, humility and authority? Following Christ's example can be confusing and extremely difficult....that is when I try to do it on my own with out Him. Who am I to judge when I am guilty of the same sin? God doesn't allow us to see sin so we can judge others, its to point out what a gift we have in Jesus...to respond to that gift in a way that edifies, honors and glorifies Him. This means constant change in who we are, an active committed effort to abound in the grace, in the gifts He has given us.

" How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Luke 6:42

" yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live" 1 Corinthians 8:6

I do believe this is a process. Not to walk about beating myself up for my shortcomings, at the same time, not to fall so deep in the teaching of grace that it's all about me. Yes, God's grace forgives me when I am full of pride..at the same time His Spirit convicts me when I am grieving Him and He shows me they way I should walk and strengthens me to do so. I do fall short, we all do...and this has made more clear the importance of walking heart in heart with Christ. How are we to do the impossible when we are fighting a battle that is beyond our strength, beyond our grasp? I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. It is easy to get caught up in our own comfort, in ourselves...but life is much better when we walk the path God has for us.

" though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand." Psalm 37:24

" There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12

" I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of his power." Ephesians 3:7

This mornings message was an affirmation of these thoughts...not sharing the whole thing, just a good chunk. If you want to read or listen to the whole thing, it can be found at www.desiringgod.org ...the message title is

"The Mind of Christ: Looking Out for the Interests of Others" based on Philippians 2:1-30


Humility and Its Source—The CrossAnd where does that other-oriented commitment come from? Verse 3 says, "In humility count others more significant than yourselves." It comes from humility. Literally: "lowliness." This is the great opposite of a sense of entitlement. Humility is the opposite of "You owe me." Paul said, "I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish" (Romans 1:14). In other words, they didn’t owe him. He owed them.

Why? Why do Christians walk through life feeling a humble sense that we owe service to people, rather than them owing us? The answer is that Christ loved us and died for us and forgave us and accepted us and justified us and gave us eternal life and made us heirs of the world when he owed us nothing. He treated us as worthy of his service, when we were not worthy of his service. He took thought not only for his own interests but for ours. He counted us as greater than himself: "Who is the greater," he said, "one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves" (Luke 22:27).

That is where our humility comes from. We feel overwhelmed by God’s grace: bygone grace in the cross and moment-by-moment arriving grace promised for our everlasting future. Christians are stunned into lowliness. Freely you have been served, freely serve.

So the crucial relational mark of the culture of our church should be Philippians 2:4: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." This is the "mind" or the "mindset" that we should have in life together. This is the relational atmosphere where God will grant wisdom for the perplexing work of living in this world.

My Grace is Sufficient for Thee

This demolition mess reminded me of something very important. Notice what stands tall among the debris? It looks like a cross, standing strong in the midst of madness.

I often hit an emotional low when we move to a new place. It confuses me, when there are too many people around I want to run home, wrap myself in a blanket and just feel safe. The opposite happens when I am alone in a new place, my memories come rushing in and I so start missing my friends and family. This can be a time of great struggle. I hate to exercise, but force myself to do it and beat myself up when I don't. There are so many things I can convince myself that I am lacking..physically, spiritually, materiality...the list is a long one. I share this to lead into the thoughts that have been pressing so heavy on my heart these past weeks.

Sitting in front of the television, not interested in anything..even appalled at much of what I see, my thoughts took me to what was happening outside the walls of my apartment. It was late and I knew the PAD was camping out at the government offices they overtook earlier in the day. I started wondering what was going through their minds, knowing the police were going to forcibly remove them in the morning. I started thinking about their fatigue, their passion...no matter if it is right or wrong...the things that wore them down, that drove them, that raged through their minds. This brought me to thoughts of the people, the children living on the streets...I started wondering what was running through their mind.

So many people groups came to mind...thinking of the millions who were vegging out on mindless TV shows, those resting in a comfortable bed...those like me, sitting in a comfortable apartment while people right around the corner didn't have a shelter over their heads from the heavy rains during monsoon season.

Back to the point in sharing this. It is so easy to become self focused, forgetting how truly blessed we are. We all have struggles, terrible at times....but there is so much more to life than sulking and self pity. Our situations could be so much worse. This got me to praying that I would be shaken more about the things I see and hear in the world around me. That I wouldn't look the other way and that God would show me how to and when to act. Sitting in comfort and self preservation just can't be the reason we exist on this planet.

I listened to a teaching by Ravi Zacharias today. He shared a few encouraging writings that say it so much better...and as always, I have to share them with you all.

Make Me Thy Fuel

From prayer that asks that I may be

Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,

From fearing when I should aspire,

From faltering when I should climb higher,

From silken self, O Captain, free

Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,

From easy choices, weakenings,

(Not thus are spirits fortified,

Not this way went the crucified)

From all that dims Thy Calvary,

O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,

The faith that nothing can dismay,

The hope no disappointments tire,

The passion that will burn like fire;

Let me not sink to be a clod:

Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

~Amy Carmichael

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercy;

To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,

Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,

Our God ever yearns His resources to share;

Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;

The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.

His pow'r has no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus, He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

~Annie Johnson Flint

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2Corinthians 12:9

Faith-of Greater Worth than Gold

Often I sit out on our balcony, looking out over the city and wonder why we are here. It seems as if we leave the apartment , we are assaulted by so many emotions, it would be easier to just stay inside and bide our time until we are to go back to Malaysia. Hiding, staying in my comfort zone has always been something I loved to do. Just wanting to curl up some place safe, familiar and keep to myself. Even as these thoughts flow through my mind, the voice of God keeps reminding me that He brought us here for a purpose. That purpose isn't to site see and shop, it has to be something of more substance.

When we left America this time around, it was clear God wanted us to learn much in the days ahead. There is something inside of me that doesn't feel like I am "doing" anything unless I am physically doing something. So while I like to hide in my comfort zone, the other side of me is always stirring to get up and go. Again, this brings me back to why God wants us here at this moment.

We have been here a little over three weeks and after much struggling, it is starting to become more clear. Faith. With all the cautions about safety, especially concerning the children. All the darkness blending into the beauty of the area. There really is so much to learn. With every culture we are blessed to experience, there is always something to learn....not to embrace, but truly learn from. Being offered the opportunity to experience life in this manner opens our eyes and hearts to things we used to just read about.

A few years back, well before we left for India, I ran into a pastor from Africa. When talking with him, I could only tell him how my heart ached for the people of Africa. He asked me if I had been and this opened the door for me to share my fears of leaving my comfort zone. He gently encouraged me to go, explaining nothing really compares to experiencing life outside that comfort zone. First hand exposure to what others experience. I didn't fully comprehend what he was telling me at the time, but as time goes by it is aparant that living in this way has opened our eyes to how blessed and in some cases how desperate we really are.

Looking back I see how God was slowly preparing us to make bigger moves in Him. Before we even knew Him, He brought Arizona...seeds were planted there, but none took root. After venturing back home, he brought us to Texas. It was there our eyes were opened to His love, His power and the ultimate truth of Christ. He slowly enabled us to move from comfort to comfort, seeking less for ourselves and depending more on Him. The struggles have been and still are great, but even better is what He is doing through those struggles. The refining He is allowing us to experience is amazing. This of coarse, leads me to share one of my favorite scriptures...

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" 1 Peter 1:6-8

Back to Bangkok. He didn't call us to live in fear, but to live a life of faith. Not understanding all that is going on around us isn't going to cripple us. God has reminded me of the importance of prayer, in some seasons, this is the only action He may be calling us to do. Only, but not small. We need to be in constant communication with Him, but there are times where we are to draw much closer to Him for ourselves and for others. I believe this is a learning period.

We have been asked to look for housing here, to get a feel for the city and to strongly consider a more permanent move here. Keeping this in mind, now is a time to absorb our surroundings and pray. To take our time, explore, listen and learn. A time, even though it isn't what I planned in my mind, a time to be thankful because God had/has something better at hand.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

The Mind Controlled by the Spirit is Life and Peace

Okay, I was really thrown off tonight. I had no clue what went wrong.

We were walking home from the grocery store and decided to take the overpass so we wouldn't have to cross the busy street with the kids. Brett and Emma made it over before Matthew and I did. I was holding Matthew's hand and carrying two small back packs as we were working our way down the wet steps. We were about half way down when the policeman at the bottom started waving his arms, saying things I didn't understand. We assume he wanted us to hurry. I did my best with Matthew, but like I said, we were carrying a small load, Matthew is a four year old and the steps and railings were wet.

We were pretty calm until I saw the policeman pull out his gun. I was dumbfounded, didn't know what was going on. He was still yelling, Brett said he was blowing his whistle, but honestly I drew a blank when I saw the gun. He did NOT point it at us, just took it out while he was yelling at us. Matthew and I were the only people on the steps, the only ones near the policeman. We made it to the bottom and kept moving without a word.

I was shaken to say the least. Racked my brain to figure out what just happened. It was a public walkway, we weren't doing anything but walking slow...the pace of a four year old working his way down the steps. We just didn't get it....it didn't make any sense.

Matthew keeps saying the policeman had a water gun. It's hard to explain to him what happened, to both of the kids for that matter. How can we explain to them when we don't understand what happened.

Racking my brain as to what got the policeman so upset, I started to search on Thai law in the internet. Found out much about the Thai police. What I did wrong was not jump when he said jump. Something got him edgy and he wanted us to move and we didn't do it fast enough. There are many reports that say the Thai police are easily agitated. There is an overwhelming amount of information on the Thai police, something key to remember is that no matter what, we are supposed to comply to their request with a humble smile and apologise if they look as if we have wronged them. There are laws in place, it's just that the officers are under paid and do as they see fit, with no real structure to answer to.

It is hard to explain this to the children, we have always taught them police were safe, to be trusted. The whole gun thing really tripped us up. Bottom line, I am thankful for God's provision in looking out for us in my ignorance. Often when we go to a new culture, much of what we see doesn't makes sense, often irrational. One constant is knowing that God is in control and this is what gives us great peace when it's all said and done.

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace" Romans 8:6

One of These Little Children

We have been less critical about having our clothes pressed since arriving in Bangkok. When I asked Matthew to go get dressed, he came out with a wrinkled pair of shorts on. He was so proud of himself for picking his clothes out, getting dressed and doing what his mom asked him too. When I saw his wrinkled shorts accompanied by his precious face my heart melted. He trusts me to take care of him, he trusts me enough to wear anything that I give him. He believes me, no matter what. This got me to thinking about the children on the street. Often we see children, as young as three, sitting on the ground, in a crowd begging. As we continue to walk, we see the mother watching from a distance. Just the other day we saw a young girl, with no shoes, washing a street sign that advertised an upscale children store....how ironic is that? Many of the street children have beautiful smiles and seem to be content in doing what they were told. In many cases, their mother was their overseeing their actions. The point being, our children trust us and at a young age like this, they trust unconditionally.

As long as I can remember, my heart has had a soft spot for children....I think this statement speaks true for many of us. I feel led to share some things God has made more clear these past weeks...both weighing heavy on my heart. We as mothers, as parents, have a HUGE responsibility with our children and children in general. They need us and trust us. None of us are perfect, but we do all have a sense of right and wrong. We are not to take this trust, this responsibility lightly.

Walking through the red light district we saw a little Asian girl, about Emma's age. She was dressed provocatively, had heavy make up on and was being entertained by a white man older than Brett. We can only assume what was happening there. I highly doubt this child or any of the other street children are their by choice as some have tried to convince me. Children are taken advantage of in many ways, some more in more heinous ways than others. Children trust, whether it is something as simple as Matthew with his wrinkled shorts or something as heart breaking as the little girl in the bar. God loves the little children, so should we. We need to be looking out for the little children, ours and those that are not getting the basic provision, protection, love and guidance that they deserve. The best examples come from the Word of God, we need to soak up these truths and put them into action...in our lives and the lives of those we encounter.

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." Mark 9:37

"Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." Colossians 3:21

"At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure." Luke 10:21

"And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them." Mark 10:16

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

"But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Luke 18:16

Often so many questions, thoughts come to mind. Thinking back to when I first gave my life to Christ, recalling all that was brought before Him...He reminds me how He is active in our lives and in this there is strength and encouragement. Even when answers don't come quickly or in the way I would like or expect them to, we need to trust in His ways unconditionally. This is something that really needs to sink in, how are we to trust in Christ, unconditionally, as seen in the children. How can we truly offer the best to the children if we don't trust in the true source of all good? God allows us to witness and be part of examples on both sides of the fence...I pray we choose to bring life rather than death in the life we have been given.

We wanted the best for Emma when she was a baby and we did try our best, but it was such a feeble attempt in comparison to what we had to offer her after we gave our lives to Christ. He opened doors for us that we never knew were closed. He gave us more love, more patience, more guidance...He gave us Him, which enabled us to be better parents, better people... better children to our Father in heaven. Nothing in life can be done without Him...there is no life without Him, here and now or in eternity.

"And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him" Psalm 103:13

"As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also." 2 Corinthians 6:13

"I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children." 1 Corinthians 4:14

I so thank God for Him opening our hearts to life in Him. One of the many blessings that came from this, is a stronger sense of right and wrong. I never knew the love I had for my children could become stronger, nor did I know that He would enable me to love strangers so deeply. He teaches so much as we trust in Him unconditionally. Through things that cause a heavy heart in many, Christ has revealed a great promise and great commission....to carry His light into the darkness, again, both in our lives and the lives of those we are so blessed to encounter......what an awesome God we have!

"Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man." Psalm 112:4

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." Isaiah 9:2

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." Ephesians 5:8

"..if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday." Isaiah 58:10