New Things

This morning I was up earlier than usual. As I was doing my morning routine it started to rain. I love the rain. I went into the laundry room and noticed the rain coming in and hitting the power point for the washing machine. I typically have a few rugs hanging to try and shield the rain from the electrical. I took them down a few days ago, so the space was open again.


As I was hanging a large towel in their place I started thinking about my home. With all of it’s problems, it’s still home and it’s still very comfortable. I walked in to check on Matthew, still asleep. The room was darkened, the fan was moving cool air through out the room and classical music gently playing with the sound of the heavy rains outside in the background. So much peace in that room, so much peace in my home. I wanted to sit down and just wallow in that feeling.


As soon as my heart was jumping in the joy of that, the thoughts came. You will be leaving soon. You Don’t know where your next home will be. It may not be as comfortable and your peace will be gone. My heart became heavy and my mind went back to Matthew’s words. “Mom, is this country, this place, is it going to be our home forever. I love this part of the world.” Yes, my five year old said that, in those words. I think that is why it hit my heart so hard. So as these thoughts were assaulting me I started to clean and organize. I do that often, clean, organize…I think it’s because it’s something I can control. But those thoughts keep coming. Along with those thoughts comes a more powerful voice. The voice of God.


Sometimes it takes me awhile to hear Him, even when He is shouting. At times it can be so much easier to try to fight the pain with a cleaning, organizing, talking to a friend, reading a book. At least it seems easier, but not as powerful or lasting. My heart tells me that there are just some things we aren’t meant to do alone, some things our friends just can’t fix. A time when we are to draw so near, to climb up in our Father’s lap and get that hug our heart needs to go on. Not only go on in action, but in power and strength. To push forward to be changed, to be used, to bring glory to His kingdom not only in our heart, but in those hearts around us.


More and more as the days go on the meaning of keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus is having a more personal understanding. When believers say God’s Word is the Living Word, they are speaking so much truth. The truth behind this is so strong, I can taste it, feel it in ways I didn’t know it was possible to feel. This is yet another affirmation of who He is and proof to me that He is real and alive in this world, in me. My mind never could imagine such a feeling as this. To have such heavy burdens and feel so alive, to have such guidance, such comfort and encouragement. It is so sweet to my soul. Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough, giving my life to Him doesn’t seem to be enough. This, to me, showing how great His grace is.


So when my vision gets blurred, He gently takes my hand and leads me back to the way that is straight. He breathes life into these dry bones. The old saying, home is where the heart is, is so very true. My heart is His and my home is with Him, no matter where that may be.

Thank You my Jesus. You are beyond comparison.

“You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, “Here is your God!” See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and His arm rules for Him. See, His reward is with Him, and His recompense accompanies Him. He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:9-11

“Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God. The Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak, Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:27-31